A Letter To The Spider In My Window

Dear Big Scary Spider,

I would like to commend you on your ability to weave a web that would leave Charlotte's jaw hanging open in jealous astonishment. You are a marvelous creature. How you managed to unweave your amazing web and then reweave what appears to be the exact same one in another window within 12 hours is beyond me. I notice you are hard at work again, so I'm more than a little anxious to see what spot you have picked out for tomorrow. Please be warned that if you bring your little side show inside, I will have no choice but to murder you. In fact, I cannot guarantee your safety if you insist on hanging out in my windows, even if it is outside. I would greatly appreciate if you would head back to one of the many barns, or even a horse lean to on our property would be super fantastic. The neighbors have a fountain in their yard. Maybe you could head over there for a vacation of sorts.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation.