Thursday, June 11, 2015

Greater Love Hath No Mom than to Watch Treasure Buddies with her Daughter

Have you seen that movie?  I do not recommend it.

She gave me a choice between Horton Hears a Who, Despicable Me, and Treasure Buddies.

I chose Despicable Me and she said, "Aw.... I thought you'd choose Treasure Buddies!"  (Really?!?!?!? It's like you don't even know me!) So, I say, "Is that the one you want to watch?" I already knew the answer... "Yeah..."

And that is how I came to spend 93 minutes cuddled up watching one of the dumber movies of all time tonight.  All in the name of love.  Where do I collect my Mother Of The Day Award?

And a looooong day it has been, too.  Someone must have found out there was a plot afoot to sleep in and at 6:15 AM decided he had had enough sleep.  I won't mention any names, but it was the one person who requires my assistance when conscious, so that basically crushed my dreams for the day. Sigh.

I still love ya, summer - but let's aim for 8 tomorrow, shall we?

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

In Which I Attempt to String Words Together that Adequately Express my SHEER JOY Regarding Summer Vacation

Spoiler Alert:  It can't be done.

There aren't enough words in the English language (nor the 4 words I know in Spanish) to express the joy that my heart feels about not getting up at 6:30  AM and not packing a lunch.  Not even the Emoji's can communicate my happiness.  I checked.

Oh, summer!  How I've missed you!  Not that I really enjoy hot weather or being outside or the assortment of pests that you bring along with you, but all of that is beside the point. I don't have to wash school uniforms, commute to school in another county, or single handedly fill a landfill, WEEKLY, with obscene amounts of school assignments. So I will squash bugs with a smile on my face.

While sweating.


Not that I kill bugs outside.  Mostly, only if they insist on living in my house. Because, no.  You have an entire planet to live in, so get out of my house or die. I'm getting off topic, though.

Speaking of off-topic.

My air conditioner in my car is not working correctly and it is creating a First World Problem of Epic Proportions over here.  The only thing worse than being outside on a hot summer day, is being in a car without air on a hot summer day.  You've been there.  Back soaked with sweat, hair in tiny knots that make that pixy cut that you can NOT pull off seem like a brilliant idea. That last part is probably just me.

Here's the funny part.  Ironic, really. The air does work.  Just none of the vents that can actually be pointed in my direction.  The driver.  Who is always in the car.  So, I pity the fool who sits in the passenger seat, because that person will be needing a cardigan, for real.  I have to BLAST the air over there and then WILL it, through intense prayer and supplication, to circulate and eventually cool my quadrant of the vehicle, in the hope that I won't spontaneously combust whilst driving down the expressway.

I should get that checked out, spontaneous combustion would put a serious damper on summer vacation.

Happy Sleeping In, friends!  What are your big plans for the summer?

Saturday, October 18, 2014

The Epic Tale of The Chipmunk Chase

Lesson #1.  Always leave the door closed.  Especially the one right next to the woodpile that a certain chipmunk calls home.  

Some lessons are learned the hard way. 

You would think, that on this day, the day that Chloe's dream of having horses came true, that the title and topic of this post would be well...  About that. But that's not the case. No. Not the case, at all.

Our story starts when one of the helpers bringing the horses asked the simple and innocent question...  Can I use your bathroom? 

Sure! No problem!  

And Chloe led the way.  Dear, sweet Chloe.  Who has not mastered the art of closing doors.


About an hour later, I discovered the door was wide open.  And had been for at least an hour.  But it wasn't until oh.... about 9 hours after that, that it was discovered that Mr. Chipmunk had checked in for the day. Let's try not to think about how many times a chipmunk does bathroom related business in a 9 hour period.

I was putting a very weepy, very tired Chloe to bed.  We were trying to deal with the fact that her suitcase from her overnight at grandma's last night was still, unfortunately in grandma's backseat.  25 minutes from here.  With her blankie in it... I was just about to head out of the room, fingers crossed, prayerfully hoping she was tired enough to fall asleep without it.  When I heard and saw something strange... Was it a ball rolling into her room?  Who would be rolling a ball into her room?  I turned and there he was.  For a hot second.  And then he was gone.

"BABE!!!!! Get down here! There's a chipmunk down here!" I hollered up the stairs.

He came thundering down.  "WHAT?!?!"

"There's a chipmunk in down here."

"In Chloe's room?" He asked.

"Nope.  I don't know where he is now.  He went that-a-way." I explained.

I only wish that the next 30 minutes (give or take) could have been recorded.  Oh, what a treasure of comedic entertainment that would be.  There was laughing.  There was chasing.  There was squealing.  It was like the squirrel scene from Christmas Vacation.  Minus the Santa hat.

We had him cornered in my closet.  Frank was on his knees with his head on the ground looking under the dresser.  "It's going to end up on my head.  Just like in Christmas Vacation." He said.  "Yes, if you leave your head there, you're probably right.  At least you got a tetanus shot the other day!" I said.  Always looking on the bright side, I am.  "Yeah, but I didn't get a rabies shot."  

"Oh, right."

Chloe was in her room, pretty mad because I had shut the door when I left.  I went back in to check on her, and always the comedian, said: "Well, just when you think leaving your blanket in Grandma's car is your biggest problem, next thing you know there's a chipmunk in your room!"  Despite her best efforts not to, she smiled.

Back to check on dad and the chipmunk.

By this point he had escaped the first closet and was currently cornered in a different closet,  this one big enough that I could block off the entrance trapping Frank in there with the chipmunk. And his weapon of choice.  A towel.   "What are you going to do with the towel?" I ask, laughing. "I'm going to catch him and take him outside.  I thought I had him in there (the bedroom closet.) but he's FAST!"

Don't I know it. Especially after he jumped about a foot in the air (the chipmunk, not the husband) and cleared the barricade. That I was CERTAIN was going to contain him.  

Back to the bedroom.

"Why didn't we close that door and block the space under it?!?!?" I bemoaned.  

In my defense...  There's a lot to think about whilst chasing a chipmunk through the house.  Even the smartest of people can't think of everything.

This time in the bedroom, he was hiding under the crib.  (Found the missing pacifer!  Score!) Then he got into the baseboard heater.  This was when I dissolved into a fit of giggles. At one point he ran right over my feet. RIGHT OVER MY FEET!!!!!!!!!!  I squealed.  More fits of giggles. He actually seemed to be showing himself out as he ran to the door and dove at the window.  Drat!  If only it had been open!  So then we open the door and try to chase him that way.  But of course he won't go that way once the door is open.

Except he did.  Eventually.  After a trip to the office and back to the bedroom.

Whew.  That was a hoot!

Staying off of the show Hoarders is no longer my biggest motivation for getting my basement neat and tidy. You don't realize how many hiding places you are creating with all manner of totes and tubes of clothing  strewn all about the living room and office.  Getting that mess organized is now #2 on my to do list.

Right after teaching my girl to CLOSE the door.

Monday, June 23, 2014

4 Things That I Must Share...

I've noticed lately that many of the blog posts being shared are a certain number of things about whatever random topic. For instance,

13 Lessons From...

3 Intentional Ways to....

8 Conversations To Have With...

And so on, and so on, and on. It seems to me there was a class about blogging that I missed called, Writing Posts With Numbers!  Now, with even more Numbers!!  I didn't get invited to the class, but I catch on quick, so I will now join in.

1.  Since sleep has been such a topic of conversation around here, it seems only fitting that I would share that I ACTUALLY SLEPT FROM 11:00 PM to 5:30 AM!  Except for when I dreamed (I think?!?) that Chloe was calling me and I woke up trying to decide if I dreamed it or not.  I was able to fall back to sleep rather quickly, thank you, Jesus, Amen.  I dare not assume it could be the new normal, because, like I said about Murphy and his super annoying law...  But the night before last, my boy slept a decent stretch, not quite that long, but I was up with a terrible headache. I literally laid there awake for 3 hours while he didn't so much as budge or make a peep. I would lament the unfairness of life, etc.  But, I have received the memo about life NOT being fair. Several times, in fact.

 I am a mom, after all.

2.  I am on a quest for new, delicious, summery recipes.  You know, to replace all the soups and chili and steamy casseroles that have no business on my dinner table June through August.  Please feel free to put links in the comments here, or on facebook.  I have been making more salads and lighter things, so I'm on my way, but your help would be greatly appreciated.  I'll share a couple of my new favorites on the blog in the coming weeks.

3. We are in the very early stages of planning a Disney trip. I can think of many, many other vacations I would prefer to go on, (Hawaii?  Barbados? Tahiti, anyone?) but I definitely want to get Chloe down to Princessville while she is still young enough to enjoy the magic and beauty and wonder of it all. And I hear there are good eats, so I'm sure I'll have a fine time, too. :) If you have gone, please share your favorite things to do, and what you think Chloe, who will be 7 when we go (unless we manage to win the lotto without actually playing the lotto) would absolutely love.  Food recommendations earn you extra bonus points. Also, because it's so far out, we are not sharing this with her anytime soon.

4. If someone needs to thaw cool whip in a hurry, I know about it...  My claim to fame on this blog is a little post I wrote for the Works for Me Wednesday blog carnival that We Are THAT Family does every Wednesday.  It's about thawing Cool Whip quickly, and my blog comes up as the third source for such information if you consult the google in your Cool Whip related emergencies.  Of all the efforts, heart, and hilarity I've put into this blog, it positively CRACKS ME UP, that 95% of my page views are for Cool Whip related inquiries. I just shake my head and hope someday, I can top that.  Perhaps with Rediwhip.

That will conclude the randomness for today.  You can be sure there will be more number-y posts coming soon.

With Cool Whip on top.