Saturday, October 18, 2014

The Epic Tale of The Chipmunk Chase

Lesson #1.  Always leave the door closed.  Especially the one right next to the woodpile that a certain chipmunk calls home.  

Some lessons are learned the hard way. 

You would think, that on this day, the day that Chloe's dream of having horses came true, that the title and topic of this post would be well...  About that. But that's not the case. No. Not the case, at all.

Our story starts when one of the helpers bringing the horses asked the simple and innocent question...  Can I use your bathroom? 

Sure! No problem!  

And Chloe led the way.  Dear, sweet Chloe.  Who has not mastered the art of closing doors.


About an hour later, I discovered the door was wide open.  And had been for at least an hour.  But it wasn't until oh.... about 9 hours after that, that it was discovered that Mr. Chipmunk had checked in for the day. Let's try not to think about how many times a chipmunk does bathroom related business in a 9 hour period.

I was putting a very weepy, very tired Chloe to bed.  We were trying to deal with the fact that her suitcase from her overnight at grandma's last night was still, unfortunately in grandma's backseat.  25 minutes from here.  With her blankie in it... I was just about to head out of the room, fingers crossed, prayerfully hoping she was tired enough to fall asleep without it.  When I heard and saw something strange... Was it a ball rolling into her room?  Who would be rolling a ball into her room?  I turned and there he was.  For a hot second.  And then he was gone.

"BABE!!!!! Get down here! There's a chipmunk down here!" I hollered up the stairs.

He came thundering down.  "WHAT?!?!"

"There's a chipmunk in down here."

"In Chloe's room?" He asked.

"Nope.  I don't know where he is now.  He went that-a-way." I explained.

I only wish that the next 30 minutes (give or take) could have been recorded.  Oh, what a treasure of comedic entertainment that would be.  There was laughing.  There was chasing.  There was squealing.  It was like the squirrel scene from Christmas Vacation.  Minus the Santa hat.

We had him cornered in my closet.  Frank was on his knees with his head on the ground looking under the dresser.  "It's going to end up on my head.  Just like in Christmas Vacation." He said.  "Yes, if you leave your head there, you're probably right.  At least you got a tetanus shot the other day!" I said.  Always looking on the bright side, I am.  "Yeah, but I didn't get a rabies shot."  

"Oh, right."

Chloe was in her room, pretty mad because I had shut the door when I left.  I went back in to check on her, and always the comedian, said: "Well, just when you think leaving your blanket in Grandma's car is your biggest problem, next thing you know there's a chipmunk in your room!"  Despite her best efforts not to, she smiled.

Back to check on dad and the chipmunk.

By this point he had escaped the first closet and was currently cornered in a different closet,  this one big enough that I could block off the entrance trapping Frank in there with the chipmunk. And his weapon of choice.  A towel.   "What are you going to do with the towel?" I ask, laughing. "I'm going to catch him and take him outside.  I thought I had him in there (the bedroom closet.) but he's FAST!"

Don't I know it. Especially after he jumped about a foot in the air (the chipmunk, not the husband) and cleared the barricade. That I was CERTAIN was going to contain him.  

Back to the bedroom.

"Why didn't we close that door and block the space under it?!?!?" I bemoaned.  

In my defense...  There's a lot to think about whilst chasing a chipmunk through the house.  Even the smartest of people can't think of everything.

This time in the bedroom, he was hiding under the crib.  (Found the missing pacifer!  Score!) Then he got into the baseboard heater.  This was when I dissolved into a fit of giggles. At one point he ran right over my feet. RIGHT OVER MY FEET!!!!!!!!!!  I squealed.  More fits of giggles. He actually seemed to be showing himself out as he ran to the door and dove at the window.  Drat!  If only it had been open!  So then we open the door and try to chase him that way.  But of course he won't go that way once the door is open.

Except he did.  Eventually.  After a trip to the office and back to the bedroom.

Whew.  That was a hoot!

Staying off of the show Hoarders is no longer my biggest motivation for getting my basement neat and tidy. You don't realize how many hiding places you are creating with all manner of totes and tubes of clothing  strewn all about the living room and office.  Getting that mess organized is now #2 on my to do list.

Right after teaching my girl to CLOSE the door.

Monday, June 23, 2014

4 Things That I Must Share...

I've noticed lately that many of the blog posts being shared are a certain number of things about whatever random topic. For instance,

13 Lessons From...

3 Intentional Ways to....

8 Conversations To Have With...

And so on, and so on, and on. It seems to me there was a class about blogging that I missed called, Writing Posts With Numbers!  Now, with even more Numbers!!  I didn't get invited to the class, but I catch on quick, so I will now join in.

1.  Since sleep has been such a topic of conversation around here, it seems only fitting that I would share that I ACTUALLY SLEPT FROM 11:00 PM to 5:30 AM!  Except for when I dreamed (I think?!?) that Chloe was calling me and I woke up trying to decide if I dreamed it or not.  I was able to fall back to sleep rather quickly, thank you, Jesus, Amen.  I dare not assume it could be the new normal, because, like I said about Murphy and his super annoying law...  But the night before last, my boy slept a decent stretch, not quite that long, but I was up with a terrible headache. I literally laid there awake for 3 hours while he didn't so much as budge or make a peep. I would lament the unfairness of life, etc.  But, I have received the memo about life NOT being fair. Several times, in fact.

 I am a mom, after all.

2.  I am on a quest for new, delicious, summery recipes.  You know, to replace all the soups and chili and steamy casseroles that have no business on my dinner table June through August.  Please feel free to put links in the comments here, or on facebook.  I have been making more salads and lighter things, so I'm on my way, but your help would be greatly appreciated.  I'll share a couple of my new favorites on the blog in the coming weeks.

3. We are in the very early stages of planning a Disney trip. I can think of many, many other vacations I would prefer to go on, (Hawaii?  Barbados? Tahiti, anyone?) but I definitely want to get Chloe down to Princessville while she is still young enough to enjoy the magic and beauty and wonder of it all. And I hear there are good eats, so I'm sure I'll have a fine time, too. :) If you have gone, please share your favorite things to do, and what you think Chloe, who will be 7 when we go (unless we manage to win the lotto without actually playing the lotto) would absolutely love.  Food recommendations earn you extra bonus points. Also, because it's so far out, we are not sharing this with her anytime soon.

4. If someone needs to thaw cool whip in a hurry, I know about it...  My claim to fame on this blog is a little post I wrote for the Works for Me Wednesday blog carnival that We Are THAT Family does every Wednesday.  It's about thawing Cool Whip quickly, and my blog comes up as the third source for such information if you consult the google in your Cool Whip related emergencies.  Of all the efforts, heart, and hilarity I've put into this blog, it positively CRACKS ME UP, that 95% of my page views are for Cool Whip related inquiries. I just shake my head and hope someday, I can top that.  Perhaps with Rediwhip.

That will conclude the randomness for today.  You can be sure there will be more number-y posts coming soon.

With Cool Whip on top.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014


At the risk of sounding melodramatic...

Free at last, free at last!  Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last.

I wonder if I will still feel that way in a week?  Or a month?

All I know is that I don't have to set an alarm for the next 2.5 months and that feels like freedom to me.

Speaking of alarms, I slept through mine today.  I started packing her lunch at 7:08 and my beloved morning person car pooler gets here at 7:10.  Good thing I can make a PBJ like a boss.

She was still not late for school, but that will teach me to toot my newly acquired punctuality horn when there is still a day of school left.  Let's not tempt Murphy, the little demon he is, and his stupid law. I should know better.  Blame it on the sleep deprivation.

So, WOOT for no more school.  Now if my other offspring would forage for berries in the night instead of bothering me with all his hungry whining, I might actually be able to get rid of the luggage under my eyes. I kid about the hungry whining, of course...  Lest any of my CPS worker friends read this.  Nothing to see here, people.  Move along.

Speaking of hungry whining... I'm not even convinced he's hungry.  I have to wonder if it's more of a habit, at this point. Many people report that 4 months or so has been the age that their babies suddenly sleep through the night. Soooo, here's hoping. 

All aboard the sleep train, Bubby!  Choo-choo!!!

Because really, what good is freedom without sanity?

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

The Homestrech and One of My Most Embarrasing Moments

Well, kids...  It's the second to the last day of school.  We have nearly survived kindergarten.  I would like the record to reflect that I didn't make Chloe late for school all year.  Not one time.  This is an acheivement I never thought possible.  I must give credit where credit is due.  Of the 168 school days, I probably drove her to school less than 60 of them. My amazing car pool buddy is a MORNING PERSON.  She LIKES waking up.  While I don't understand this phenomenon, I am thankful that it exists and that I am blessed enough to have such a person come to my house every morning and deliver my progeny to school.  On Time.

When I was responsible for getting myself to school on time, it didn't go quite so smoothly, despite the fact that I lived one block from the school.  I usually left in time to get to school on time, but I chose to drive outside of town to pick up my bestie.  We were late pretty much every day.  How we didn't get in major trouble, I'm really not sure. I think the attendance lady, who most people complained about, found me amusing.  And really, who could blame her? Thinking back on it, I'm glad I could bring some humor to her otherwise mundane job.  She was usually pretty grouchy and kinda mean, but I remember one day when she got a good laugh.  At our expense...

Usually it was the same story.  I'm late.  Because I didn't get up early enough.  But sometimes what happened after that was so entertaining I couldn't help but share. This morning in particular, a great number of people got a pretty good laugh out of our late arrival...

It was a snowy morning and I was, of course, late. I had picked up G and we had finally made it to school.  As we raced into the parking lot, too fast for summertime, but especially too fast for a snowy winter morning, we were about to make the slight turn right in front of the school.  The front window was to the classroom that we were supposed to have reported to 10 minutes ago.  There was a fairly large pile of snow right outside of the classroom window, due to the recent plowing. We didn't stand a chance.  I hit the ice and rather than making the slight turn, I continued forward, careening headlong into the pile of snow.

That was right outside of our first hour classroom's window.

That we were supposed to have reported to 10 minutes earlier.

So, that was awesome.

I should add that I drove a highly recognizable vehicle, so there was no mistaking who it was stuck in front of the school.  You don't ride around in 1978 Buick Skylark in the mid 90s and go unnoticed.

Oh, those were the days.  When my biggest responsibility was getting myself to school on time.  And despite the fact that I was completely incapable of doing so, not much came of it.

So you can see why I am so proud of myself (and shocked) to be able to say that Chloe was not late to school one time. Perhaps there is hope that she will not be voted "Most Likely to be Late to Her Own Funeral" by her senior class.

Like her mother was.

It was a landslide.

Oh, the memories.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Every Pacifier Has Its Thorn

It seemed like such a good idea when he was tiny...  It was way better than being a HUMAN pacifier.  But alas, at 4 months old, the tables have turned on me, and now the solution is officially the problem.  I'm not a fan of crying it out, mostly because of all the crying.  It never worked for Chloe, so I'm hesitant to put him through it.  I think there is a time and a place for a battle of wills, and age 4 months, in the middle of the night is not it. I reserve Clash of the Titans for potty training and 3 year old tantrums, yo.

I really don't even know how we got here.  When he was teeny, it wasn't as necessary, but on occasion was helpful.  Honestly, I was more concerned about his addiction to Bethel Music!  He was always very good about falling asleep on his own.  I never feed him to sleep, unless you count middle of the night feedings, which I do not.  I guess it all started with naps.  He consistently wakes up 45 minutes into a nap, and the pacifier has always helped him to immediately go right back to sleep. At some point, when I wasn't paying attention, this transferred to needing the pacifier every 45 minutes ALL NIGHT LONG.  So basically,  I'm about ready to join the circus. 

It's very possible that being a hippy this time around and not being as consistent with a schedule is what has created this situation.  I was militant about preettyyy much everything with Chloe.  She was not sleeping 12 hours by this point (4 months old) either, but I think she was only doing one nighttime feeding.  Spence is too, which I think I would be fine with, if it wasn't for the 6 or more times that he needs his paci, in addition to the one nighttime feeding.  Lord, deliver me. It's so much harder the second time around to be so diligent with the scheduling.  Especially since the second time around is so much more enjoyable.  There is less unknown and a greater understanding of the preciousness of it all! Not to mention, when you already have another child, there are other things to do!  Places I need to go!  Since I'm far from perfect and a horrible juggler - the baby's schedule is what has to suffer.  He makes it easy to bend the rules too, because he is the happiest, most agreeable baby. Everyone makes comments about how quiet he is! 

Until 1 Am when the paci falls out.  Then look out.  The boy can blow.

I'm trying to consider it pure joy, but in all honesty, I'm at my wits end.  I think Daddy is going to get a turn this weekend. Maybe I will pitch a tent in the backyard.

For those that know me well, you know that if I'm considering camping, in a TENT?  There is a serious problem. Mayday! Houston!  Do you read me????

I know this too shall pass. I just hope I have a couple brown hairs left by that point.  They are getting very few and far between. Regardless, I will continue to choose joy.  Even when it's hard. And I can't see straight.

But just in case you are ever convinced that I am withholding important intel that is vital to the well being of humankind? No need to involve Jack Bauer. Just wake me up every hour, all night long for a couple days.  I'll tell you anything you want to know.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Set your expectations low. Nope, lower than that.

Hey, ya'll.  Look who's back? Ta-Da!  I had a baby while I was away.  

I'm not sure what it is about having an infant that makes me want to blog, but here we are.  Maybe it gives the illusion of adult conversation. 

If you don't know me for realsies, you would have no way of knowing that I recently gave birth to the cutest boy on the planet.  But I did.  I basically haven't slept more than 6 hours in a row in approximately 6 months. Praying that changes soon.  I have vowed to enjoy the baby stage this time.  I've been doing pretty good with that, but I'm not gonna lie.  I'm stinkin' tired.  And there are times when I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of a psychotic episode.  So, if your baby is sleeping 12 hours at night, that's awesome.  Just be really careful how you go about sharing that with me...  I am happy for you, no doubt about that, but if you ask me how he's sleeping and I say, not so good...  The next thing you say PROBABLY should not be, so he's not sleeping 12 hours?!?!?  As if to imply that there is something wrong with me, or worse yet, my precious, perfect, insomniac baby.  Unless you want your eye blackened, of course, than it's totally the right thing to say.  So, yeah...  Other than the fact that I may or may not be losing it? Totally enjoying it.

Ahem.  Moving on.

I'm hoping to get back to blogging semi regularly, but well - I think it would be poor judgement on your part to hold your breath.  I'll do my best, though. I'm not sure what exactly I'll be writing about, but I hope to include some depth, maybe some humor and I think we can definitely plan on a heap load of inconsistency.  I have full confidence in my ability to provide that for you.

You're welcome in advance.