Wednesday, June 10, 2015

In Which I Attempt to String Words Together that Adequately Express my SHEER JOY Regarding Summer Vacation

Spoiler Alert:  It can't be done.

There aren't enough words in the English language (nor the 4 words I know in Spanish) to express the joy that my heart feels about not getting up at 6:30  AM and not packing a lunch.  Not even the Emoji's can communicate my happiness.  I checked.

Oh, summer!  How I've missed you!  Not that I really enjoy hot weather or being outside or the assortment of pests that you bring along with you, but all of that is beside the point. I don't have to wash school uniforms, commute to school in another county, or single handedly fill a landfill, WEEKLY, with obscene amounts of school assignments. So I will squash bugs with a smile on my face.

While sweating.


Not that I kill bugs outside.  Mostly, only if they insist on living in my house. Because, no.  You have an entire planet to live in, so get out of my house or die. I'm getting off topic, though.

Speaking of off-topic.

My air conditioner in my car is not working correctly and it is creating a First World Problem of Epic Proportions over here.  The only thing worse than being outside on a hot summer day, is being in a car without air on a hot summer day.  You've been there.  Back soaked with sweat, hair in tiny knots that make that pixy cut that you can NOT pull off seem like a brilliant idea. That last part is probably just me.

Here's the funny part.  Ironic, really. The air does work.  Just none of the vents that can actually be pointed in my direction.  The driver.  Who is always in the car.  So, I pity the fool who sits in the passenger seat, because that person will be needing a cardigan, for real.  I have to BLAST the air over there and then WILL it, through intense prayer and supplication, to circulate and eventually cool my quadrant of the vehicle, in the hope that I won't spontaneously combust whilst driving down the expressway.

I should get that checked out, spontaneous combustion would put a serious damper on summer vacation.

Happy Sleeping In, friends!  What are your big plans for the summer?

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