Off The Deep End....

Hi ya'll. How is everybody? Long time no blog, I know. I've been very busy being very busy. I've also been in kind of a funk, but I'm pretty sure that's over. Christmas was fab. How 'bout you?

So, I've been seeking God on what 2011 is going to be about and I'm pretty excited about the direction He is pointing me. By excited, I mean, 90% excited and 10% scured.

I've been sensing for awhile that God wants the theme of 2011 to be depth. Every song I hear, every book I read, every where I turn, I keep hearing deep, depth. I won't even begin to pretend that I really know where He is going with it, but I'll tell you this: I know it's gonna be good.

I know our relationship is going to go deeper. (My relationship with God, not you dearest blog readers. reader?) I am learning a lot and I hope He will help me apply, understand and put it all into consistent practice.

I am finally in a place where I am fostering deep friendships again. After I had my daughter, many of my friendships changed and some of them even ceased all together. So sad for me. About two years ago, God told me He had some new friends lined up and well, wow. He is blowing my mind. I am very much a "deep calls to deep" sort of person, especially where friendship is concerned. God has brought multiple people into my life that fit the bill for that type of friendship, and let me just tell you.... I am excited.

The next element of the year of depth is less exciting. I'm getting the sense that God wants to do some heart surgery on me this year. I understand "dying to self" as a theory, but I can't say I am truly living the life Paul describes. There are many selfish layers that need to be peeled off, and well.... Yikes. I know it's one of the main road blocks to a deeper maturity that God is calling me to, so... here goes nothin'.

Last year, (probably Sept. of '09) I started reading in Genesis and really wanted to make it through the entire Bible by the end of 2010. I did not. I'm not ashamed of myself, though. I read more of the Bible this year than I ever have in any other year. I read the majority of the New Testament, and I made it to I Chronicles in the Old. I will keep on keepin' on with that, but I think this year - I want to dig deeper, rather than focusing on getting through all of it. I want to start studying, as I feel led, and I want God to begin to show me His heart where many of my questions are. I could easily go read a book on different issues that I don't understand, but then I would just be getting some other "man's" interpretation of Scripture, and I'd really rather hear what God has to say to me about certain things. I have no idea what I'll even study, but I trust God has a plan and that He'll issue the memo when He sees fit. ;)

I also hope to explore some sort of mentor relationship. I'm hoping to find two or more older women in the faith that can be a sounding board and source of encouragement. I know that I know that I know that I need strong women to guide me in this journey. I will not attempt to be a lone ranger!! Again - I have no clue what it will look like, but I believe God has it all planned out, and when it's my turn to know, I will.

There are multiple verses that I've been pondering, some of them for more than a year. I love how God plants a seed and later (sometimes years), Shazam! - He shows you how it all ties together.

I have written down Philippians 1:9-11 multiple times in the past couple of years. (I've been reading through my old journals...) I think it might be THE verse for this year.

Philippians 1:9-11 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

I memorized Ephesians 3:16-19about 5 years ago. I wish I could say that I "get it". But I know for a fact that I don't. I hope that this time next year, I have a completely different understanding when I read these words:

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Yeah - maybe that is THE verse...

So. I hope to get a chance to share an occasional nugget with you, but I definitely think my blogging days are mostly behind me. Time is such a commodity these days, and I hear it gets worse the older you get. My commitment to a year of depth (which is hopefully the year that changes EVERYTHING) by definition doesn't allow for a lot of blogging. Or facebooking. But don't tell my alter ego who thrives on being told she is funny. She is not going to take that news well...

Until we meet again, consider His deep love for you. It's a game changer. But only if you let it be. I've decided I will.